A cheerful “Merry Christmas, Asshole” message that pairs beautifully with your seasonal stress. Red and green flowers printed all over—so your kitchen looks merry even when you don’t feel like it. Great for drying dishes, wiping counters, or aggressively cleaning up holiday chaos. Holds up through cooking, baking, and pretending to enjoy small talk with relatives. Ideal for friends, coworkers, siblings, or literally anyone who loves funny kitchen towels and has survived at least one group family text thread.

It’s festive. It’s functional. It’s the towel equivalent of smiling through gritted teeth while you hand someone a plate of cookies. Hang it in your kitchen for a guaranteed laugh—or warning.

Great for holiday décor, real-life Grinches, and anyone who believes honesty is the best gift.

Printed on a 30"x30" 100% cotton kitchen towel with earth friendly water based inks.